Nothing sucks more than walking on eggshells in a relationship. You do not have to go through this; check out our top tips in chasing the elephant out of the room.
You just got into a committed relationship with the love of your life, and everything feels smooth sailing. You are head over heels in love, and so are they, but something feels off. It is something that you can’t place your finger on, and it keeps lingering even after a long call that ended in the three magic words. No, that doesn’t mean that you are weird, it is a simple human phenomenon, and you aren’t a nut job. Here, we will tackle the causes of such anxiety in relationships, check out the effects of relationship anxiety, and proffer some solutions. So without further ado, let’s sort out the pesky issue.
Reasons behind Relationship Anxiety
So what are the causes of relationship anxiety, and why does it always seem to rear its ugly head. Well, if you want to find out, then you can read a bit further.
1. Not so excellent past relationships
Remember the saying “once beaten, twice shy,” well, that statement rings accurate daily, especially in relationships. No matter how unique your partner is, there will always be a fleeting thought of relapse. That’s what toxic experiences do to the best people, and it is a reminder that we can feel. That is a major cause of relationship anxiety, and it’s such a shame that not all partners are understanding. I mean, it’s not you; it’s all about me and my sordid past dating experiences.
2. Below par communication
Communication is a significant vehicle for conveying your thoughts to your significant other, and without that vehicle, you could be asking for trouble. Sadly, the absence of valid communication pathways isn’t always the fault of a partner. There are sometimes, that network might be glitchy, or another reason arises. It sucks, but constant below-par communication could cause a dent in an otherwise stable relationship and lead to a bout of anxiety.
3. A crippling attachment habit
Being attached to the person you love could be super cute, and who won’t want a touch of that? However, it could get super creepy and annoying pretty quickly. Suppose you find that you are constantly probing the security of your relationship or the lengths of feelings your partner has for you. In that case, you can occasionally track this to the relationship you shared with your parents or other caregivers when growing up. That is undoubtedly a shaky foundation to build your relationship on, and it hardly ever ends on a positive note.
These are all-natural causes of relationship anxiety, and they could happen to the best of us. So before you blurt out the words “can’t be me,” take a long look at yourself in the lenses of your lover.
The effects of relationship anxiety
Being anxious in a relationship isn’t a recipe for a fruitful relationship and would lead to the complete opposite. Relationships are meant to be tendered, they ought to be treasured, and you owe yourself and your partner honesty. Here are some of the most common effects of steady relationship anxiety.
1. Constantly feeling on edge
By the time you’re done overthinking and coming up with a dozen hypotheticals about your partner, the best thing is to get pretty touchy. Trust us, this is something that many couples go through, and it could either make or mar a relationship. No partner should feel on edge with the person they love, which is a major red flag. As such, you should try to maintain communication with your partner to avoid a degenerative change.
2. Constant worry about the relationship
Anxiety is a culmination of many toxic feelings, and not dealing with it would only make it worse. Relationship anxiety happens to be one of the worst, as you’re bringing another individual into the charade. Hence, being anxious about the relationship would make you (and your partner) walk on eggshells, and nothing good comes from the stress of walking around on eggshells.
3. Less, lesser, and most minor things to talk about
The more anxious you feel, the harder it is to carry on a conversation. That is all so apparent in a relationship, and it is super easy to tell that something isn’t right. That happens to be the stage whereby the conversations sound forced, the calls are getting less, and the content feels drab. It isn’t a good sign, and you should get to work if you’re to salvage one of the things that you love the most.
Here’s how to overcome anxiety in relationships
Never let anxiety ruin something so beautiful; here are a few steps to assist you in healing.
1. Enjoy the moment
We have no control over some things, and such things include the past and the future. Hence, letting these things affect our present relationships would be unfortunate. As such, to give yourself a chance and try different tasks, you should try to appreciate what you got at the moment. Remember that no matter how hard you got it, you are currently doing one or two of the things you dreamt about when growing up.
2. Talk to your partner about your feelings
There is nothing that a partner can do about or with a partner that bottles up their feelings. However, there are a million and one things that such a partner can do to make you feel better. Relationship anxiety isn’t the end of a budding relationship, and the sooner you accept it, the better. By speaking clearly with your partner, uncertainties that can encourage anxiety are avoided, leaving room for a romantic appreciation of the relationship.
3. Give therapy a try
If you have tried the above steps and aren’t giving the desired results, you could give therapy a shot. Through treatment, you can receive the proper guidance to change negative and dysfunctional thoughts about yourself, your self-worth, and your attitude towards your partner. There’s a reason why this therapist has a certificate, license, and professional qualifications all over their wall. It isn’t such a bad idea to try that route for the sake of your relationship and your long-term welfare as well.
Sometimes being anxious in a relationship could result from loving your partner so much that you do not want to disappoint them. That is super cute, but it can also get incredibly dark if you do not handle the disorder properly. We know that it isn’t that easy, but you got to at least start from somewhere. That’s why we’ve given you a starter kit on how to cope and blaze through relationship anxiety. You will be in a much better place before you know it; remember, it’s the effort that counts.