From childhood, love has been a feeling we try to seek out. As infants, we cried out to get our parent’s attention, as kids, the love and attention our parents provided us could make or break our grown up personalities. This was the foundational love we first experienced – familial love.
As adults, we still seek out this familial love but, we seek another type of love – romantic love and it’s this kind of love we’ll be discussing. When the topic of love comes up, our first thoughts usually include the way our heart feels but, the truth is, we should be thinking of what’s going on in our brains since that’s where love really happens.
The process by which guys fall in love is quite different from the way women do. This article’s aim is to help you understand the process men specifically go through when they fall in love. To understand the processes men go through when falling in love, we’ll be looking into the psychology of men falling in love.
HOW DO MEN FALL IN LOVE?
When it comes to falling in love, it rarely ever travels a straight line, there are so many ways that guys fall in love.
Scientifically, it’s been discovered that love is caused by the release of various hormones in the brain. Love biologist Dawn Maslar states that hormones such as dopamine and vasopressin are important for a man to begin falling in love.
Oxytocin, a hormone released when you hug a loved one, is very important in building and strengthening love in men in later stages. But, when men are just dating and getting to know a lady better but not yet in love, their testosterone levels are usually high which in turn blocks the effects of oxytocin.
WHAT MAKES MEN FALL IN LOVE?
There is no one solid reason for men to fall in love with you but, there are constant processes that we know guys go through when falling in love.
Here are some common processes guys go through that indicate they’re falling in love:
1. Men Tend To Fall In Love With What They See
Studies show that men are more visually driven and stimulated which makes them fall in love usually with what they see while women prefer auditory stimulation meaning they fall in love with what they hear. Men need to be physically and visually drawn to the person they’ll be falling in love with. Does this mean that ladies need to be on top of their physical appearance at all times? No. Physical attraction is different for people, while some men tend to fall in love with model looks, heels, and dresses, other guys may prefer ladies in simple wear like jeans. The important thing is that guys initially fall in love with something they find appealing about you.
It’s important though to know that this physical attraction is just the start of men falling in love. The more he gets to know you, he may find other things he likes about you leading to him falling in love.
2. Men Fall For Ladies Who Recognize Their Worth
In a world that’s heavily critical of men, guys find it refreshing and comforting when they get accepted for who they are and the value they offer. This is also true for guys falling in love.
Men fall in love with ladies who appreciate and accept them for who they are or ladies who make them feel like they matter. This is especially important for men to build deep connections that can strengthen love. The sense of comfort that comes from being appreciated makes it easy for guys to open up and be more vulnerable which are important for a long lasting relationship.
Men appreciate this sense of comfort and authenticity that they often only enjoy in the company of their friends. If you can encourage him to be his authentic self, it makes you extremely approachable and lovable. When he feels safe and comfortable, he’ll open up to you.
3. Men Fall in Love With Women They Can See A Future With
Men value peace and stability and are very future driven, this is the same when it comes to their relationships. If a guy starts to think of a future and the lady is in that future, he is likely falling in love.
How Long It Takes For Men To Fall In Love?
The amount of time it takes to fall in love is different from guy to guy, some take their time before fully opening their hearts to love while there are those who find it easy to immerse themselves in a relationship from the start. Also, many believe that females being the more emotional gender will fall in love faster than men, a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology has discovered that the opposite is true in many cases and men fall in love faster.
While this may be hard to believe, this study proves that in fact, finding love is as important to men as it is to women and even though culture and society may have programmed men to believe that it’s feminine to be vulnerable emotionally, the truth is that a happy and full life will involve meaningful and loving relationships for most men.
STAGES OF FALLING IN LOVE IN A MAN
The process through which men fall in love can generally be broken into seven stages:
Stage 1: Appreciation
This is the first stage most men go through while falling in love. As you’ve seen, men are visual creatures who tend to fall in love with what they see. At this stage, men pay attention and are more attracted to the physical appearance of a potential partner.
Physical appearance is pretty important for men but it’s usually just a starter for the next stages that would actually build love. Now, when it comes to physical appearances, it doesn’t always mean having model looks and body, guys have different tastes in what they consider physically attractive.
Stage 2: Infatuation
The second stage of how men fall in love is the infatuation stage. As a man goes about his day, he may get attracted by several women but really won’t get infatuated by all of them. Once a man not only appreciates but also gets infatuated he get interested in wooing her.
Usually while wooing a lady, if she doesn’t accept his advances, he’ll likely and easily move on to another lady because of the many stages he’ll still have to get through to even fall in love. On the other hand, if she does accept his advances, dating can then begin with some guys taking the traditional method of properly asking the lady out on a dinner date and go on from there..
Stage 3: Attraction
In the third stage, if the girl responds to the guy’s advances, the guy starts working on getting the girl to fall in love with him. At this point, he actively tries to get to know the lady and start building a deeper relationship with her.
Stage 4: Impression
This stage is quite similar to the attraction stage but way more intense. He works harder to make the girl like him by showing off his abilities through dates and gifts. Although the guy isn’t yet in love, he puts in more effort trying to win over the girl.
Stage 5: Conviction
If all four previous stages go off properly, things start getting serious. He starts figuring out he really likes the girl and would love to keep going out with the girl. He realizes that all the gifts and dates they’ve been going aren’t enough to deepen and sustain the relationship he wants to grow.
He also starts asking himself if the lady is truly interested in creating something more than what they currently have.
Stage 6: Reaffirmation
At this point, the lady has finally fallen in love with the guy and the guy makes the decision to either continue the relationship or not. During this stage, he takes a step back and tries to figure out the pros and cons of taking their relationship into a serious place.
Stage 7: Commitment
This is the final and defining stage for a man to fall in love. If the man gets convinced to stay, that means he’s ready to fall in love and see a future which includes the lady and is ready to stay committed to the lady. But, on the other hand, if he decides not to continue the relationship, he may stop trying to woo her or please her.
PSYCHOLOGICAL SIGNS THAT A MAN IS IN LOVE
The following are powerful signs that show that a man has fallen deeply in love with a woman:
- He wants to spend way more time with the lady.
- He wants to make his lady happy and keep her happy.
- He starts introducing the lady to important people in his life.
- He tries to protect his lady as much as possible.
- He sees a future with the lady.
While these signs indicate deep affection, understanding and navigating the complexities of such emotions can benefit from online relationship therapy, providing couples with tools to foster and maintain their bond.