One thing which defines the teenage years for most parents is a difficult time with discipline as well as boundaries. Teenagers want to assert their independence, and it could oftentimes be conflict with those rules you have established for your family. Handling these conflicts positively will be crucial and will set a great example for your teenager in their adolescent development into adulthood. It is difficult parenting teenagers; you just have to be patient
Balancing boundaries with their need for independence
Allow your teenager to know that you understand her necessity for independence, yet it’s crucial that you sustain family boundaries, too. Share stories from your teenage years concerning when you broke rules, what the results were, and what you took away from this experience.
Do not become too angry with your teen for misbehaviour. If you’ve established suitable expectations for behaviour, all you’ll need to state as your teen misbehaves is, “You understood the rules and what the result would be.” Mention that the results are due to the teenager’s bad behaviour. It assists teens in understanding they’re ultimately responsible for their actions.
Negotiate rules with your teenager
Negotiate the rules with teenagers—teenagers are a lot more likely to obey the rules if they possess a say within the development of them. They’re additionally more likely to obey the rules if they know the purposes behind the rules, so you need to explain to your teenager why you have selected the boundaries you have. As children enter into puberty, their behaviour could drastically change. Continuously observe what behaviours your youngster has struggles with and assist them in improving these behaviours. Also be considerate of how friendships helps their emotional health.
Allow your teen to take responsibility for their actions
It’s usually always a great thought to permit the natural consequences to play out within the situation—become supportive, yet allow the teenager to handle the resulting consequences. For instance, if the teenager is serving time within after-school detention, make him responsible for contacting his boss to rearrange his working schedule. Resist a temptation to bail out your teenager or minimise the consequences. Keep cash out of your disciplinary methods. Do not provide children with cash in order to entice them into doing something, and do not slash their allowance for misbehaviour. Figure out additional positive ways of handling the behavioural problems.
Be consistent and follow-through on the agreed consequences
Curfews will be a particularly contentious problem with teenagers—make certain you make these determinations prior to the teenager asking to go out for the night. It will be particularly vital that you follow through upon any consequences you’ve set up for the children.
Allowing the child to talk you out of enforcing the rules or giving in will reduce your credibility as a parent. Your child might also grow up believing boundaries are not that important. Discipline, as well as boundaries could (and possibly will) be sensitive problems within the child’s teenage years. However, with open and honest communication, a bit of forethought, as well as lots of patience and love, you could set up boundaries as well as enforce consequences within a fair manner which will assist your teenager in learning valuable lessons for the coming future.
If you’re having trouble setting boundaries for your adolescent or teen, you may wish to speak with a professional adolescent counsellor or psychologist. Australia Counselling has counsellors and psychologists in Perth, Sydney, Adelaide, Melbourne and Brisbane. Visit our adolescent counselling page or family issues page to search for a counsellor in your local area.